LIFE WITH INFANTILE SPASMS

My baby boy Kmarion Colvin was born on August 17, 2010. He was 6lbs and 15oz and 21inches long. He was a start to a new beginning for me and his dad. I have two other children at the time Kaaliyah and Kaalil Johnson ages were 11 and 9 years old. At six weeks old my baby started having focal seizures. At the time I did not know when he stared off to the side and would not look back for a few seconds that it was a focal seizure. His pediatrician told me, "baby eyes are not focused at six weeks old." But in my heart I knew something was wrong. Cause my baby would follow me with his eyes from across the room. A few days before he initially turned three months old. He started throwing his arms out to the side and grunting at the same time. The pediatrician told me, "he is just straining from the breast milk." In my heart I still knew that something was wrong. On November 13, 2010 my daughter ran into my bedroom and screamed, " MOM! THE BABY IS SHAKING! She said it over and over with this great look of fear in her eyes. I grabbed him from her but he just looked real sleepy to me and he was not shaking. I questioned her over and over. She said, "she was just holding him and he started shaking on her chest." That was at 11:00am, I sat next to him all day and he was just still sleepy. At 6:30pm I told her,"I'm sitting him in his bouncer watch him until I get out the shower." As soon as I walked towards the bathroom I heard screaming again. I hurried and turned around. Then I seen MY BABY SHAKING with both his arms stretched out and his head was turned to the left. I grabbed his head and started calling his name KMARION! But every time I touched him he would go deeper into his grandmal seizure. I instantly felt like my heart was crashing cause I though my baby was dying right before my eyes. I will never forget that moment. I felt so helpless cause I thought that I could not save him. I can't even speak about the events without crying. I told my daughter to call 911 and grab them some clothes. I called everyone close to me, my sister Kim is a nurse she automatically rushed to the hospital to meet the ambulance. I had to drop my other kids off with family members...